A Series of KDVS Fundraiser Experiences Leads Punk Roge and Riot To The Dog Pound
(by M. Riots)
A funny thing happened to me on the way into the radio station. This was back in 2001. Martin Heroin was jumping up and down and screaming into the microphone. He leaped up on the chair, grabbed a CD from a box, and smashed it over his head! CRACK!! The CD broke into a million pieces. Janie Venom was on the other mic laughing and letting listeners know this was no normal show. No, this was a very special time that only comes around once a year. This was during the KDVS Fundraiser. It was my first glimpse into the high volume energy, the crazy antics, the fun filled shows, and the heart that makes up the KDVS Fundraiser. At the time, my show was in the very late hours and back then the KDVS Fundraiser didn't go 24 hours a day, but broke from 3am to 6am. Years later in 2003, when helping Punk Roge with the Neonate show, I was able to finally do a real hands-on KDVS Fundraiser show that has kept me going ever since.
Volunteering for KDVS has been a great joy in my life. I've done a lot of work and met a lot of great people. The one time a year, when the KDVS Fundraiser is in full swing, the station really comes alive. You can feel the energy and excitement in the air. DJs, who might not normally meet, get a chance to put faces to names while volunteering - answering phones, entering thank you gifts into the computer, and other tasks that make the KDVS Fundraiser a success. DJs really pull together to keep the station going. It brings a great sense of community to the station. Not only is volunteering to answer the phones a great thing to do during the KDVS Fundraiser, but, as a DJ, you get to witness a lot of great antics during this time.
A countdown was about to start... SSSSCCCCHHHHHRUUUUUUUUUUUUP! A mountain full of freshly dispensed whipped cream stood ready on a pie tin inches away from the mic. Punk Roge motioned for the cherries. I grabbed some day glow red cherries from the jar and placed them at the peak of the whipped cream.
Punk Roge described what was going on to the listeners and that he was ready. Because, as you know, the pies will fly! THREE! TWO! ONE! My hand went from a level, cocked back position to a straight vertical position in the split of a second. At the same time, Punk Roge opened his mouth seeing if he'd catch any of the cherries. PHWAP! A perfect plant of whipped cream pie to face. The booth erupted in laughter. Stephanie Arsenick, myself, and other volunteers were all cracking up. The phones were ringing as callers wanted to make more pies fly for their donations to the station. Punk Roge removed the pie tin and a giant smile appeared on his face. Not only was he a good sport for taking pies to the face, but he had succeeded in getting a cherry into his open mouth when the pie splatted him. It was a success! Even though Punk Roge was a complete mess, we didn't get the DJ booth dirty from the whipped cream to face connection. More pies flew that night and listeners responded by their generous donations to the Neonate show. This was my first real hands-on experience doing a KDVS Fundraiser show back in 2003. Punk Roge came up with the idea to get pied in the face for listeners' donations during the Neonate show and it worked out really well.
A second year of whipped cream pies was inevitable. The year before, I had bought a giant container of green chocolate syrup as a promotion for the Hulk movie (yes, the less favorite one that everyone complained about). After storing it in the fridge for some time, I decided that the green goo was a perfect addition to the whipped cream pies Punk Roge would take to his face during the 2004 KDVS Fundraiser. That year the Pirate came to help us. I had brought the green goo, but I wasn't sure if I should use it because it just looked so nasty. I knew it was going to be even more sticky by adding chocolate syrup to the already sticky whipped cream. The Pirate saw what I had brought and immediately grabbed the container swirling the green goo on top of the whipped cream. It was time for the countdown. THREE! TWO! PHWAP! The Pirate decided to do a preemptive pie to the face taking Punk Roge by surprise and causing the room to erupt in complete hysterical laughter. Punk Roge slowly removed the pie tin. Not only had the Pirate hit Punk Roge in the face with the green gooed whipped cream pie, but the Pirate had gotten Punk Roge from the top of his head all the way down his face. Punk Roge looked like he had a disgusting green gooey mask on. Another type of green came in, thanks to our listeners donating on our show.
Two years of the flying pies was great, but Punk Roge was done taking pies to the face. 2005 was my year to step up. Sometimes trying to come up with good KDVS Fundraiser antics is hard. 2005 was the unrealized dream of the Pickled Juice Jar Of Death!
Instructions:1. Start with Pickle Juice.
2. Add Olive Juice.
3. Add Pepperoncini Juice.
4. Stir.
5. Hope you have a good health care plan.
I was fully ready to drink the Pickled Juice Jar Of Death but there had to be a build up. I wanted to drink Jolts for pledges leading up to the Pickled Juice Jar Of Death, but couldn't find them anywhere. I ended up buying the Dew instead, but Punk Roge came through by showing up with old school bottles of Jolt. I didn't realize drinking an entire ice cold Jolt all at once would be so difficult, but soon found out trying to down something like that wasn't easy. When it is so cold it burns going down you know you won't be able to drink that many. 2005 wasn't the best year for our KDVS Fundraiser show. I never did drink the Pickled Juice Jar Of Death, but I did drink 3 Jolts and don't recommend the cherry. It tasted like cough medicine. Yuck!
2006 was another year of craziness and I think I totally lost my mind when I came up with my KDVS Fundraiser idea. Let me just say, I'm not big into things that are spicy hot. I usually avoid hot food. I decided to torture myself for the KDVS Fundraiser 2006...
Frrrrrrrrrpt-rpt-rpt-rpt-rpt! The Wheel of Doom was spun and so my fate was put into motion. KDVS listeners had graciously donated on the Neonate show enough, $150, to cause the great Wheel of Doom to decide what would happen next. My handmade sweatband said "RED" on one side and "GREEN" on the other side with "KDVS FUNDRAISER" in the middle. I was already sweating bullets in anticipation. If the wheel landed on "RED" that meant I would have to drink a shot of Red Tabasco sauce. If the wheel landed on "GREEN" that meant I would have to drink a shot of Green Tabasco sauce. If the wheel landed on "RED/GREEN" that meant I would have to drink a mixed shot of Red and Green Tabasco sauce. If I got really lucky it would land on "SODA CHASER" and I would drink a Tablespoon of Tabasco followed by a half can of Mountain Dew but the Soda Chaser represented only 2 out of the 10 spots on the Wheel of Doom. To my surprise the first spin landed on the Soda Chaser. There was a groan from everyone in the DJ booth except for myself. To me, drinking a tablespoon of Tabasco was torture in of itself. I also reminded everyone that more than likely on the next spin I'd be taking a Tabasco shot, so that just meant they had to keep working hard to get me there. Just that tablespoon tasted nasty, but I was able to continue. We finally made it to the next spin, $300, and it landed on the "RED/GREEN" spot. Mick Mucus was on hand to pour my shot to the very rim with Red and Green Tabasco sauce.
OH MAN! That was naaaaaaaaaaasty! I almost didn't think I'd be able to make it through. Punk Roge had the bucket on stand-by. Someone had some old bread and gave it to me. I think the bread saved me from totally losing it. I had to continue on but I wasn't sure how many more shots I could take after the first one. My throat was on fire and my stomach felt really bad. The next level we reached, $450, the Wheel of Doom landed on "GREEN". I thought the Green Tabasco sauce shouldn't be too bad, but oh man was I wrong! I could almost not stand the taste of it. That shot was so close to putting me over the edge, but I somehow was able to stay together. I tried drinking some Mountain Dew, but it could not cover the taste. My last spin again landed on "SODA CHASER" and it took all I could muster to drink another tablespoon of the stuff. I was in a real sorry state by that time. I let Punk Roge do most of the talking at the end. I tried eating bread and drinking the Mountain Dew, but it didn't seem to put me right. My stomach was very upset and I didn't feel good at all. I still don't know how I pulled it off, but I somehow made it through all of that. To this day, I cannot stand the smell (or taste) of Tabasco sauce.
When 2007 came around, both Punk Roge and myself were tired of eating things for the KDVS Fundraiser. That year I decided to sing songs for listeners. I was going to do some improv but at the same time I was worried I would really screw that up, so I took some punk songs and made them into KDVS Fundraiser songs. When listeners donated $60 or more they would get a song in their honor. Different people donated, but only three songs went out that night. They are reprinted here for your enjoyment. Note: I took out the KDVS Fundraiser 800 number because it changes every year.
The Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Dog (KDVS)
So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we're gonna be face-to-face
And I'll lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be your KDVS DJ
Now I wanna be your KDVS DJ
Now I wanna be your KDVS DJ
Francesca from Italy donated on our show and so can you!
Well c'mon!
Now I'm ready to close my eyes
And now I'm ready to close my mind
And now I'm ready to feel your hand
And lose my heart on the burning sands
And now I wanna be your KDVS DJ
And now I wanna be your KDVS DJ
Now I wanna be your KDVS DJ
Francesca from Italy donated on our show and so can you!
Well c'mon!
Black Flag - Gimme Gimme Gimme (KDVS)
Gimme gimme gimme!
KDVS needs some more!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Don't ask what for!
Sitting here
Like a loaded gun
Waiting to go off
I've got nothing to do
But shoot my mouth off!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Donate some more!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Don't ask what for!
You know I'm gonna go out
Get something for my head
If I keep on doing this
I'm gonna end up dead
Gimme gimme gimme!
Donate some more!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Don't ask what for!
You know the worlds got problems
KDVS's got problems of our own
Not the kind that can't be solved
With a $10,000 donation!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Donate some more!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Don't ask what for!
Gimme gimme gimme!
KDVS needs some more!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Don't ask what for!
Sitting here
Like a loaded gun
Waiting to go off
I've got nothing to do
But shoot my mouth off!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Donate some more!
Gimme gimme gimme!
Don't ask what for!
Donate right now on KDVS!
1-555-555-KDVS
or (530) 754-KDVS
Online at fundraiser.kdvs.org
Circle Jerks - Red Tape (KDVS)
Donate!
I can see can't you see?
Donate!
KDVS needs you KDVS needs me
Donate!
Working People & Students
Donate!
Music for you music for me
Play this!
Play that!
Play this!
Play that!
Need you to Donate!
I can see can't you see?
Donate!
KDVS needs you KDVS needs me
Donate!
Brent gave a great donation on KDVS 90.3FM and so can you
Donate!
Music for you music for me
Play this!
Play that!
Play this!
Play that!
Need you to Donate!
Donate!
I can see can't you see?
Donate!
KDVS needs you KDVS needs me
Donate
Brent gave a great donation on KDVS 90.3FM and so can you
Donate!
Music for you music for me
Play this!
Play that!
Play this!
Play that!
Need you to Donate!
1-555-555-KDVS
or (530) 754-KDVS
Online at fundraiser.kdvs.org
Last year, during the 2008 KDVS Fundraiser, was our best year yet! Listeners came through big time for the Neonate show. 2008 was the year of the Peeps! And I'm not talking about our peeps, but the yellow and pink marshmallow chicks some people eat during Easter. Yes, those almost innocent looking Easter treats were to be our nemesis during the Neonate Fundraiser Peep-Off! We were having a hard time locating Peeps at that time, leading up to the Neonate Fundraiser show, but JD came through for us and got a bunch to add to our collection. For every $50 donated on our show, Punk Roge and myself each ate 2 peeps dipped in Mountain Dew for that enhanced taste of puke-a-tude! For the love of Sid, that was some nasty nasty nasty (did I mention nasty?) nasty stuff! We ended up eating over 40 Peeps. People called in to make sure we were OK. The Mountain Dew turned into some sick yellow-orange color, we were doing so good on our show that we were downing rows of Peeps at once, and we didn't know if we'd make it to the end. At the very end, Punk Roge couldn't handle it and lost some to the waste bin. We did live to tell the tale and to this day, if offered Peeps, we say, "Nooooooooo!!!!!!"
The antics are always great, but at the same time I did a really cool art piece for our KDVS Fundraiser show that year. Listeners who donated $60 or more with a credit card during our show got the special art piece print entitled "Dissent Is Our Fight For Freedom". This was on top of any other goodies they got. I was very happy with the way the art piece came out. It was 11"x17" full color and a bit of a mixed media between photo collage, re-drawing, acrylic, colored pencil, re-coloring of old photocopies, torn paper, along with the obvious political message. This was a labor of love and my way of thanking our listeners who helped us out the most. If you happened to miss getting this really cool print do not worry. It will be available again this year, BUT this time around it will actually cost you money to obtain. Another art piece is in the works, as of this writing, and again will be offered on top your other premiums for our radio show. Details to follow.
And now for something completely different...
A man with two dog biscuits in his mouth! Yes, 2009 is both a rough year for everyone and the year the Neonate (Fighting For A Future) show goes to the dogs. How, might you ask, can Punk Roge and Riot top their previous years of crazy antics? I'll give you one hint. Woof! Ah yes, the fine cuisine designed for man's best friend is now what's for dinner. Well, at least for the Neonate (Fighting For A Future) 2009 KDVS Fundraiser Show! Punk Roge and Riot desperately need your donations during their Fundraiser show this year and to show you at what lengths they will go, Punk Roge and Riot will each eat two dog biscuits for every $200 you donate on the show! Riot has decided to go the distance and dip his dog biscuits in wet dog food. Special guest, DJ Robb Dogg, will be on hand to offer expert advice on eating dog biscuits.
Last year, the Neonate show goal was met with over $1000 in donations. This year the goal is $1300. The only way we can make this happen is if you, our wonderful listeners, come help us out. Not only do you help us reach our goal, but you can get a ton of great thank you gifts.
Probably one of the listener favorite thank you gifts is the ability to come down to the station and play an hour of music on the radio for a very small donation of $100. We recommend, if you are a very enthusiastic listener, to donate $400 and you could do a radio show every 3 months for a year! Another great thank you gift if where bands can record a demo for $150. That gift is for 4 hours of studio time! KDVS Studio A has gone through major transformations over the last couple of years and is a really great way for a band to get recorded. Bands would be insane to pass up such a fantastic deal. You can also have a dance party at your place with the KDVS Mobile DJ Unit for $100. There are a ton of CDs and other great gifts you can take advantage of while supporting Neonate (Fighting For A Future) and KDVS. For those of you who decide to donate on our show, using a credit card, for $80 or more, you will get my new art piece "Banking On Our Lives" on top of everything else you decide to get. If you missed out on my art piece from last year, "Dissent Is Our Fight For Freedom", you can still get a copy, but you must donate $40 just for that art print. Last year's art print will only be available until the end of the KDVS Fundraiser week. The new art print will only be available for the Neonate (Fighting For A Future) show. Mark your calendars. The Neonate (Fighting For A Future) KDVS Fundraiser Show is Saturday at midnight on April 25th (technically, it is Sunday April 26th at 12am).
Above Image: Art Print From Last Year "Dissent Is Our Fight For Freedom"
KDVS couldn't continue without your help. We thank all of our listeners for their valuable support.
Cheers!
M. Riots (aka Riot)
April 2009